I HATE THE DEVIL!
It's been an interesting day. I'm in prayer mode right now. We just got a call from a friend who was crying and asking for us to pray. It was a sobering call because I had just talked with this girl's mother on Sunday, and the mother is so decieved right now. She thinks that the only way out of her situation is to kill herself. I HATE THE DEVIL!!! What in the world does he think he is doing trying to convince anyone that death is the solution?? Jesus conquered death!!! We don't have to listen to death's voice anymore! Jesus give this woman that revelation. It's not about her, it's about you Jesus.
Suicide is such a selfish thing. I know from experience. If the devil can get me thinking all about me and how my situation sucks, and how I suck, and everyone else thinks so too, then he's got me contemplating suicide. It's just that easy, when life becomes all about ME, there is no hope. And I sympathize with this woman, yet I am righteously angry because those lies about "suck this and suck that" are so damaging to a person! Did I mention that I HATE THE DEVIL and his bloody lies???
Well it's late, and I need to go to bed. If you read this please pray for this family, because I can see God's dream for them and it's worth fighting for. Thanks.
Cabbage and Character
I'm being a hermit these days. I'm getting big because I'm pregnant and it makes me feel like I'm fat and lazy. Well, maybe I am a bit lazy, but you know what, when baby comes, I will not have much chance to be lazy, or enjoy a lazy day as today really was. I thought about doing laundry, but then I just didn't cause that would mean that I would have to go downstairs and actually put the clothes in the washer. Instead I decided to make supper. Cabbage Roll Casseroll. Ha! Devon hates cabbage rolls. I thought it was great, (not great that Devon hates cabbage rolls) but the casseroll, it was good. And the fact that Devon hated it meant that there was more for me. Yay!
On a completely different subject... I've been listening to sermon after sermon about being thankful in everything, enjoying the wilderness that God has you in, and just having an eternal perspective on life. It's good stuff. I needed to hear it all... again. I find it too easy to slip into soulish living, and then crash because of circumstances surrounding me. And this time it's not just a head knowledge thing, it's going deeper, and I am actually learning to apply it to my life; cause if I don't I know I will just have to go around this mountain again. How much time have I wasted trying to learn this test of thankfulness in everything? At least God hasn't put a stamp of failure on my forhead, and it's a comforting thought that he never will.
I was pondering the last few days about the fact that I am going to be a mother very soon. It's a scary thing because I really don't know what I'm doing, or how to be a good mother. The cool thing is that I am learning to give the things I feel completely inadequate about to God. I have no clue how to raise a child, but
He Does. On one of the sermons I was listening to I learned that a very soulish prayer to pray is that God would give
me the strength to do what he is asking me to do. Instead a prayer from my spirit would say, "God I cannot do this, but
YOU can, so would you
BE my strength?" It's because our soul wants the glory for it, and if God is your strength then He gets all the glory. Ahhh.... life by the spirit... stuff that keeps the soul dying and the spirit thriving. Gotta love it!
Anyways, I really should go to bed. It's already tomorrow! Shockingly I think my husband hit the sack already! This is a rare thing ladies and gentlemen.
Good-night.
Let Him Love Me
I'm back! Ethnic Night was incredibly good. I ate way too much, and I don't feel guilty. The food was
delightful as I anticipated. Dev and I decided to stay at the Ranch a few extra days and I'm so glad we did. The YWAM base had some excellent speakers there, so we caught a few of their sessions. They really stirred me up to go deeper into intercession for Taber, and really find out what God is doing here and partner with Him to see Taber changed as well as the rest of Canada.
Other than that, I feel driven lately. I know that God is working on setting me free from the things that drive me into doing things. That feeling like you have to do things
just right to get the acceptance from other people is really making me feel sick. My desire is that I would learn to just be a daughter of God, only pleasing him, and that the drivers in me would cease. That the "percieved expectations" of others would just fall off of me, and I could be free to just be me. And I'm convinced that it can only happen as I sit in the presence of my Jesus and let him love me. So I think that is just what I'm going to do.
A Beautiful Thought
I had a profound time worshipping on my piano this morning. I got
real before God. (you know, not trying to present him my nice, pretty, good self which is all false anyways) It felt so freeing to sit there and lay it
all down. I mean everything. The good, the bad and the ugly... because I have been actually getting the revelation that God loves me, and I mean all of me. So I sat there and just sang my heart to God. I asked him to go to the places in me that have never felt his love, that have never seen his light before, because I know He is safe. I know that there are places in me that have not touched God because I've thought they are just not polished enough for his presence. Like they ever could be! What a lie I have believed. Wow God loves me... just the way I am.
Sucker!
I am such a sucker, although I am curious to see what happens. I just got off the phone with a credit card pusher. I finally just agreed to apply, but the funny thing is that I have no salary, so if I actually get accepted it will be hilarious! It's kinda funny how many credit card applications come in the mail. Yes I have excellent credit, but I have used my credit card maybe 20 times and I have had it since I was 19. That's pretty good condisering I am almost 27. I should have just hung up... you know when you answer the phone and they don't respond until you've said hello 2 or 3 times, then you know there is someone on the other end about to sucker you into yet something else you just don't need. Ahhhh!!! And I fell for it this time. Oh well, we'll see if I even get it.
So this weekend Dev and I go to Medicine Hat. We are helping lead a 'Cleansing Streams' retreat. It will be good. It's a course that our church offered this fall to help people pursue inner healing and freedom. I get excited when it comes to freedom! When Jesus sets you free from the stuff that's been hangin' on for just too long,
it feels like you can fly. I'm believing that God is going to do some incredible stuff this weekend with that, so if you are reading this, pray that true freedom happens for all the participants.
And then... Dev and I head out to Eagles Nest Ranch for a night. It was our first anniversary on the 13th. We spent our wedding night out at the Ranch, and thought it would be a great place to go and celebrate. The following night is 'Ethnic Night'. That makes me very happy. It's a YWAM tradition to have a night where food from all the nations represented on the base is served. It is very very delightful.
Well, I am going to start packing. Tootles.
This is fun!
I told you I was blonde... I had some rice cooking on the stove and when it was finished I took it off the burner and left the kitchen. When I came back I thought I'd put the pot back on the burner that I had it on to let it sit and cool, but first I touched it with my fingers to see if it was cooled off enough. To my shock and amazement, it was quite burning to my fingers since I had not turned it off in the first place! My one finger is still burning from the whole experience but I think I shall live.
I like recording my moments. It's quite releasing. See I don't have a car, so I don't get out much now that the weather is turned colder. So this feels like a coffee date with the computer. Hopefully I eventually get some human readers so I don't completely ostracize myself from the outside world. In my life I have had times where I would describe my life to be similar to a hermit's. Now that I'm married to Devon I do see people more since he is a lot more social than I tend to be.
We also have a roomate called Nathan, although we have considered spelling his name with a 'K'. The 'K' being silent like in knife. Knathan is quite silent for the most part, but we love him, and I think the silent part is very handy when he is getting up at the early morning hours while I lie in bed sleeping them away never to know that they even exist.
Speaking of sleeping, our bed is the absolute most comfortable bed anyone could have. I've seriously never slept in such a comfortable bed as the one Devon and I have. It's an IKEA wonder. Who would have thought? We did try out every mattress that IKEA has to offer of course. You should have seen us in the mattress department, it was a lying frenzy. And we had to try lying in every position so that we could get the proper feel of the many types and models they have to offer.
Enough about bed, it's making me tired. Actually... I lied, I'm just hungry. Being pregnant will do that to a woman. Let's see what Dev has cooking...
Cookies
I'm not sure I'm really good at putting my thoughts down where others might read them, but I felt it would be a fun thing to start to do since I enjoy reading others thoughts and am stirred at times by what I read to live with greater intensity and passion... and just share the blonde moments of my life as there are many.
Here's one for you. I was watching 'Dumb and Dumber' for the 5th time last night and I finally realized why Lauren Holly had a briefcase full of money in the first place. My dear husband who has much patience informed me that her husband had been kidnapped, hence the guy who came out of the police car at the end. It just all makes so much sense now. (not that the movie is really meant to) Maybe the fact that movies and TV dull your mind so much is the reason why I just don't clue in. Or perhaps I just don't really care. Like maybe other, more important things are going through my blonde head when I missed the important scene explaining the questions I have in the end.
I could think up many excuses, but I think what it comes down to is that I am simply just blonde and these things happen to me so that I can laugh at myself and get a little amusement out of my life. It is true what they say, "blondes do have more fun."
On a more serious note, I have been reading a book by a man called Brennan Manning. The book is entitled "Abba's Child". I highly recommend it for those who want their lives completely renovated, and like to find out that what they thought of themselves was really not true, and you have to start life all over again. Well actually it is a very good but intense book about the fact that we all have a false self that we front in order to get some kind of acceptance or approval from people. Read it, it will change your life!
Thanks for reading.
